Are you the type
of man or woman who are tired of dating the same type of people? You know those
other men or women who are Mr. and Miss Unreliable, Just Want To Make Out Not
Date, and of course, Vanish Without a Trace. Yes, I know guys and girls; ever
since the wonderful inventions of Wi-Fi and texting the whole world has turned
the dating world upside down. Several examples are, sending love letters is a
thing in the past, calling on the phone has died, and talking face to face has
been replaced with profiles. My point is, don’t you want to try another method
of dating but just don’t know how? Well then, let me recommended the book Real
Men Don’t Text written by a married couple, Ruthie and Michael Dean. In their
book they both give their own perspective on texting, to going on dates, how to
avoid the Red Flags (never avoid them), and to what to do and what not to do
when it comes to online dating.
First,
let me point out that Ruthie and Michael Dean are indeed Christians and they do
talk about God and some Bible verses, but they do not write their book in a way that sounds like they are
saying, God says this about dating_____
so don’t do that. Ruthie and Michael simply wrote a book about how to
identity the Red Flags more closely, translating on what a text message really
means and how to respond to them, and how to do online dating safely and what
to look for when you’re online.
Even
though I am now married, the first time I read this book was back when my
husband and I were dating. I fell in love with this book for two reason
First, I love that the book mentions how texting too much and talking
less (either by phone or face to face) can make a relationship complicated. I
promise you I have had experience with guys that I were interested in before I
met my husband. First, when I met a guy and texted all the time, next, we would
make out when we were face to face and have no intimate conversations, and
finally after I arrived home we would start texting for several hours. The out
come, we never became boyfriend and girlfriend. I pinky promise you it got
tiring guy after guy. Fortunately, when I met my husband, in the summer of
2012, he was a caller. When we
first met, we lived in different cities and going to school when we met at the
church where I attended, when he was in town for an internship, thank you
singles class! Later when we met up again in the fall when he came to stay at
my parent’s house, where I lived as well. My husband and I decided that we both
liked each other a lot but did not want to jump in head first into a long
distant relationship (but he came to visit me once a month for almost two years). Anyways, my point is, since seeing my
husband after he first visited me in the fall of 2012, we started talking on
the phone constantly, we set up phone dates two times a week every week and it
was non stop intimate talking for hours. When he came to visit me every month.
We never had a make out session since kissing before a relationship never worked
out for me and I didn’t want to mess up this time. Instead of making out we
would go on adventures, such as shopping at new malls, tried cooking meals for
each other (I hated cooking back then), and came up with tons of inside jokes.
Now here is the big picture that I see when it comes to texting, since
texting is all about using your fingers and not your mouth, you can use your
brain to make up and words and think, it
worked on the last person when I said ____ maybe it might work for this person and
just type it and send. Also, people could just copy whatever flirty text they
sent to another person before you came along and paste it and send. See how
easy and manipulative texting can be? You just don’t know what the other person
is doing on the other side of the phone. Now if that person were to call you
and say sweet nothing in your ear because 1) you would know those words that
he/she is speaking is true because it is coming from his mouth and 2) it would
be more obvious if the phone conversation was a three way call.
As
a Christian myself, the second reason why I love this book is how Ruthie and
Michael wrote encouraging words about how God is the true author of our love
story. I promise you the love stories that people see today are in movies are in
fact made up. Why? First, movies are made into a script that is made out of
paper. Next, auditions take place to find the best main character. Voila you
have a movie that is directed by someone paying the actor and actress to fall
in love in front of the camera, hello million-dollar paycheck. Take it from me
who grew up doing theatre in school as a kid, I know a thing or two about
acting, actors and actresses tell a story through acting.
Besides having the authors talking about God writing your love story,
they also do highlight the fact that real women don’t text either (real men can
read this book too), the authors gave tips on what men and women should look
for on their first date together. Also, Ruthie and Michael wrote scenarios in
their book if someone were to send you a text message that is inappropriate or if
they are really not interested in you, just want a make out session or
something a little more in the bedroom. Spoiler Alert: ignore those text
messages don’t act all giddy and innocent like the man or woman likes you, they
just want your hot body not your heart.
Over
all, I do think Christians and non-Christians could learn a lesson or two from
this book since it does cover a variety of dating advice and advice to what
happens after one gets married (hint: nothing about you or your spouse
changes). In concluding, if you
are tired of the whole dating world of everything just faded away at the end or
you just gotten out of a bad relationship and you don’t know what to do, I urge
you to buy this book, single, married, or divorced, I do hope this book will
restore some faith for you in your dating life that Mr. and Miss Right is out
there for you, you just have to seek them out and leave Mr. and Miss Wrong
behind.
Trivia Questions:
1 1) Name all the Red Flags that Ruthie and Michael mentions in their book.
2) In the book, Michael has written his point of view of the four types
of men that should not be in our lives. Name those four types of men.
Dean, Ruthie, and Michael Dean. Real Men Don't Text. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House, 2013. Print.